Friday, August 31, 2012

More Quotes

I've been really bad about updating the blog but I simply must preserve these gems.

We drove up to Midway, UT recently to visit with Tammy and the beautiful countryside inspired a few nuggets from Jarom. As we got closer and everything became green fields with horses and sheep and cows, Jarom excitedly exclaimed, "This looks like the WILD, mommy! Aunty Tammy lives in the WILD!" So, apparently, Midway, UT is wildlands as far as my Vegas boy is concerned. Then, later on while we were in her house but with the back sliding door open, Jarom took a few deep breaths and asked, "Mommy, what's that smell?" "What do you mean, Jarom? I don't smell anything." "Hmmmm, I guess that's what the country smells like." He does have a sensitive nose. He can smell if cookies have been baked in a house within the last 12 hrs. and he can tell if I've used alcohol to clean the floors four hours earlier.

Another Jaromism. We went to Park City to watch a skateboarding competition and afterwards got ice cream on Main Street with all these cute little shops. On our way to the competition we saw one of those YOUR SPEED signs with the digital read out of your speed. Jarom asked about it and I explained what it was. Then as we were leaving to go get ice cream, he turned right at an intersection after we'd told him we were going left. He sped away down the sidewalk as I called out to him that he was going the wrong way. He yelled back as he raced along with pumping arms, "I'm trying to see what MY speed is!" Only then did I notice he was running toward the speed sign. Sadly, it did not clock his speed.

Last night we read about the 2,000 stripling warriors in the Book of Mormon. They're sometimes called the sons of Helaman.  Somehow that sparked a most unlikely conversation.....except in our family.
Jarom:  What if you really had 2,000 sons!
Keahi:  What if they were all twins!
Jarom: Yeah, it would be like blop-blop-blop-blop! (with accompanying shooing hand gestures) Your vagina might explode!
Yup. No storks in this family.

Then this morning when I went into the boys' room to get them going for their first day of school, Keahi told me they'd been talking about how babies are formed. I casually asked what he meant. He said that the baby gets bigger and bigger in a uterus and then gets squeezed out a tube. Ummmmm, yeah that about sums it up. And then they started laughing about if Mie still had her umbilical cord they could feed her through it. Like a bird. They could throw up into the tube and feed her. Wow, it's amazing how the boys can make everything gross. Granted, though, the whole nurishing a baby in utero is kinda gross seeming.

For the last several months Keahi's new line has been "I'm a dinosaur!" I forget the first time he did it but I remember that we all laughed and so he continued to throw it out occasionally. But then it seemed to become almost a compulsion or at least something he unthinkingly did. I'd ask him a question and he'd calmly reply, "I'm a dinosaur!" Or he'd be reading a book by himself and quietly mutter, "I'm a dinosaur." During dinner, in the middle of FHE, or at bathtime. "I'm a dinosaur." Then, it started to morph again. Now it only reappears when he's uncomfortable--particularly about boy-girl things. When Harry Potter and Ginny Weasly kissed, he blurted out, "I'm a dinosaur." Like a lifeline out of the confusion of preteen feelings back to the solidity of I. Am. A. Dinosaur. I must say I feel like I need a lifeline myself when I think about all the changes I'm about face with my growing boy. Please, stay a dinosaur a bit longer.